In The Cup / Out Of Control

IT WOULD BE a pyrrhic victory, indeed;
The murder of my roommate...


Worse would be the septic verse,
according to the fractured lines above.

What is only slightly worse is the almost inevitable chance to replace the mindless 40-something gnome with which I reluctantly share air space, with a far worse CROWD of dreadful bunkmates - behind iron bars!

But self-restraint has become all but unbearable to moi. My quasi-american mind screams for the satisfaction of immediate gratification: a few quick strokes of an icepick, or the surprise of a sheet over its, erm, HER, sleeping body while that nightly stream of noisy saliva attempts to terminally anchor those final screams what any sane bastard would wish were quickly muffled by the smelly pillow, the one upon which the decrepit creature's head-esque shoulder-globe once negligently rested...

NO! OH, No... Loki save me from the fire of impulsive desire. Shiva spare me the creeping want of fatal satisfaction. Apollo speed from me the sapphic melodrama that I would scribble, had I any idea of choriamb, spondee, trochee, or accentual metre, let alone lesbianism...
(AHEM)
(Oh, yeah...) Save me from that which is a fate worse than any slow, state-sanctioned death!










As one can observe from the statically ambulatory douche balloon photos offered above and below, the problem persists. Creeping, indeed, day by day.

My dilemma, dear readers, remains the same as when I first realised the bind that implored some sort of release: my roommate is too sensitive - as well as remarkably immature - to endure the least criticism regarding her vast repertoire of bad habits, lack of hygiene, and, OH! - noxious expungement.

Yet, she is so blatant in her reprehensible behaviour as to beg the question: What the fuck is so wrong with a person that it daily, sometimes HOURLY, happily attempts to prompt discussion about being bloodily bloated, about enduring a yeasty itchiness, about how it's "gonna take a dump"?! (More on that latter, turgid topic.) It has been told before - in person as well as in writing - and yet it does no more than laugh off the caveats. And take on new ways of being outrageously, overtly offensive in its unhygienic manner. And remain aloof of the basic ways of even the most mindless humans.

Oh, The Horror. THE HORROR!